Date: September 28th, 2008
Speaker: Kevin Snyder
Title: "Moving Beyond The Weather"
Series: "Just Walk Across the Room"
Introduction
3 weeks ago
We started this series with a preparatory message that addressed to heart issues that we need to come to before we will walk across any rooms.
1. Belief Issue – Do we believe our friend, co-worker would be better off for having a relationship with Jesus Christ? Do we believe that Christ can take any life and make it more abundant, and full, and rich?
2. Priority Issue – How important are God’s lost kids to us? Are they a priority? Do we have time in our lives and schedules to make room for meeting with God’s lost kids or do we fill all our time with Christian events, people, and have no space for others?
2 weeks ago
We started the series with “What does it take to just walk across the room?”
- Willingness to go from our Circle of Comfort into the Zone of the Unknown. Step out there.
- Ability to listen to the promptings of the H.S. We don’t go out of pressure, guilt, expectation….we go because we hear that gentle whisper in our spirit telling us “just walk across the room.”
Last week
We talked about: “What happens after we walk across the room?” How do we go from being friendly to being a friend? How do we keep enough room in our lives for one more.
Single thing: The mission of Christ needs to take precedent over our desire for comfort. There needs to be a commitment to “stand by the door” and always have room for one more.
Today
Talk about another tough part.
- How do you have spiritual conversations?
- How do ever get beyond the weather to have spiritual conversations?
Many of you work and connect with people far from God on a daily basis, and you have a heart walk across the room, and you believe that person’s life would be better if they knew Christ, but how do you even inject Christ into the conversation where it opens doors rather than closes them.
Share with you some things I’m learning…no expert. Read Hybels book and feel like a 1st grader in terms of sharing faith in natural way.
1. Dearly love People
Dearly = with affection: fondly 2 : heartily, earnestly
How often have you found yourself befriended by someone in a mall or on the phone wanting to meet with you or get together with you so they can sell you something?
Have yourself wondering: “What’s the catch?”
i.e.
Young couple in church who befriended neighbours who had just been in town for 2 or 3 years. Being kind. Befriending them. Supper together. And they at one point said: “You are not just being nice to us to get us to come to your church are you?”
- People can sniff agendas. They sniff when they are projects. They sniff when our desire for “a jewel in our crown” supersedes our interest in their life.
- They can feel it when we are more interested in dumping our stuff than in them receiving it.
- We are going to share “our agenda” irregardless of their story. And we can view people as projects. And often people felt, not care or interest, but pressure….good indicator.
Jesus suggests that about the Pharisees in Matthew 23:
They aggressively go after people not so they can experience life and freedom, but so they load them up with loads they can’t even carry. Their focus wasn’t on the person.
And as one of our small group members said on Tuesday night…”You feel guilty if you don’t give the whole bale of hay….even if their not hungry”. Try and force-feed them.
And isn’t it radically wonderful when you discover someone wants to be with you just because they value you. You are important to them.
We become surprised by genuine interest in us as people.
- We are called to love people. To see them as whole people not as some bodiless soul that will get us a jewel in our crown if we can get them to convert.
- We are here to present the wonderful, radical unconditional love of God.
- We care for the sick because Jesus does.
- We eat with the sinners because Jesus would.
- We mourn with the broken because Jesus would.
- We feed the hungry because Jesus would.
- We inject Jesus into the conversation because you can’t know or understand me apart from him….He defines who I am and what I am about.
We do it not just to “win” them
- Not just because the church is having this campaign and I feel guilty if I don’t.
- Not just to win brownie points with the pastor.
We do it because our relationship with Jesus has put in our hearts a genuine divine love for people. A heart that without him would normally would be more conditional, less sacrificing, more narrow, less loving.
We are not called to love people “if”
- If they are straight
- If they don’t cheat
- If they don’t have a drinking problem
- “I love you if” love is conditional love.
We are not called to love people “because”
Because they are popular
Because they make me look good
Because they are esteemed
- “I love you because love is self-seeking love”
No, we are called to love people “anyhow”
Not with “if”s and “because”s but anyhow.
Without condition, without self-seeking, I love you anyhow…
“We love because he first loved us.’ (1 John 4:19)
I love the Apostle Paul’s word in 1 Cor 4: 1 – 2
Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way,?*?we never give up. 2 We reject all shameful deeds and underhanded methods. We don’t try to trick anyone or distort the word of God. We tell the truth before God, and all who are honest know this. (NLT)
I don’t know about you but I feel uncomfortable when we do some seminar or luncheon and advertise it one way but then use it to push our evangelism agenda. It seems tricky.
In Winnipeg we used to these “dinners with a purpose”. We would have them in a home. We would invite all the seekers who had frequented our worship services. At the dinners we played some games. Then had supper, and then someone would share their faith journey story. Pull out little booklet on “How to have a personal relationship with Christ.” And then we would have people comment on the evening and have dessert.
But when we sent out the agendas we were right upfront with our agenda. We told people that a congregation member would be sharing their faith journey and someone would share how they could have personal reationship with Christ.
We always got people and I don’t think we ever did one of those dinners where there wasn’t at least one person who committed their lives to Christ.
It was upfront. No hidden surprise. No tricky methods. Upfront, relational, non-pressured.
People loved that and built trust towards church.
Friends, just love people genuinely and from the heart.
Romans 12:9 says; “Love must be sincere.”
Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
Dearly love people.
2. Discover their Story
In John 4 we have a wonderful example of how Jesus listened to the story of the woman at the well. She bared her soul about her relational and spiritual vacuum, and Jesus then spoke into her need about being the living water that would quench the thirst in her soul.
Hybels: Just Walk Across the Room. p.91
“Friends, there is no question in my mind about whether these encounters are worth it, even the messiest of them. I challenge you to take the risk to sideline your agenda and discover other people’s stories no matter how uncomfortable you get, how awkward the situation becomes, or how heavy the sin is that you’re sorting through with them. Why? Because you just might be the single flame in someone’s dark night who reminds them there is a God who created them, who loves them, and who yearns to relate to them, starting from right where they are.”
I love that last sentence
How do discover people’s stories?
Key:
Ask Questions
Carnegie: “You can make more friends in 2 minutes by being interested in them than you can in 2 weeks trying to get them interested in you.”
Put the spotlight on them, not on you.
Sometimes we can have trouble with that. There are times when my ego needs can get in the way. I want to lift myself up so people will think I’m something…worth getting to know. And when that gets a grip what happens in a conversation is I become like a magnet. I draw the attention and focus back to me.
Have you ever caught yourself in a situation like this?
You say to someone “So, tell me about you…What’s your story.” And they get 2 or 3 sentences out and something relates to an experience in your life. And the old thirsty ego thirsts for a little more attention…and so you interrupt and say: “I can relate to that. Let me tell you what happened to me…”” And then for the next 20 minutes you tell your story.”
Do you see what happens?
When you said “Tell me your story” you put the spotlight on them. You became the listener.
And then when we interrupted and started to tell our story….we yanked the spotlight back to us. And we all love to tell our stories. It gives value. It’s like one person said “The favourite voice we like to hear is our own.”
Have you caught yourself doing that?
I have.
But if we could only leave the spotlight there.
Listen to people’s stories.
We will have a 100x more opportunities bringing Christ into our conversations if we become good listeners, than we will looking for how we can inject Christ in the cracks somehow. People will avoid you.
We learn to listen to people they will lead us into those spiritual conversations …we won’t have to force him in. Because that story will unfold a place of hurt and brokenness and hunger that only Jesus can satisfy.
i.e.
couple at wedding – discovered guy was far from God but once was a pastor. His young child died and he and his wife ended up like 80% of those marriages where child dies – they separated. He left ministry and God. When out there met woman who now was 2nd wife….had no church background….and also no baggage. And she got interested….started asking questions….was out of that conversation that we began a journey. She joined our small group and she found Christ and he was finding his way back.
So often we think that “evangelism” is going out there and pounding out a message….but how does it change your feelings. How much more does it feel accessible to you. If you realized you are ¾ of the way there by just walking across the room….making room for one more in that day….pulling up a chair and just listening to their story.
3. Deliver a Positive Message
Let’s read John 8: 1 – 11 - Woman caught in adultery.
1 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
“Neither do I condemn you…Go and sin no more.”
John 3:16,17
16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
Graphic: person holding big Bible pointing finger and looking angry vs Jesus writing in sand in story of woman
An accusation has been laid against us, the church, that says, “we have done a much better job of convincing people they are sinners, than we have of convincing them they can be forgiven.”
Ouch!
I love this picture of Jesus here. It reminds me that the desire of Jesus is to see people restored. Jesus didn’t dwell on this woman’s past. He didn’t feel any further need to shame her. She felt enough shame. What he wanted her to know was there was grace here for her. He wanted her to know she could have a different future.
Friends, when people come to church, or come into relationship with us they don’t need to be reminded of who they were, who they are, they need to be reminded of who they can become.
Friends in John 16:8, 9 it tells us that the Holy Spirits was sent into this world and his job is to convict the world of sin.
When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment
But sometimes we step into that role and feel that’s our job. Sometimes we think we need to move into the role of the Holy Spirit. We sometimes feel that we need to point out just how far the person is from God, rather than just how close God is to them.
I.e.
People often feel can’t come to church because they aren’t good enough. “Oh, if I came to church the roof would cave in.”
Jesus said, “It’s not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. I have come to seek and to save the lost.”
I think our task is to show the radical love and grace of God to people.
We will go a long ways towards bringing Christ into our community when we see ourselves not as “moral judges” but as “God’s resource providers.”
We are there to hold out God’s resources at the point of people’s needs.
4. Develop your story
5 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,
One of the struggles we have is sometimes being able to condense and communicate the story in a natural way.
i.e.
Story of woman – came to Christ. Got close to a niece living far from god. Listen to her stories. Phoned me one day:
“Pastor are you busy?”
Why?
I need you come over right away.
“Why?
Well, my niece wants to know how to have a relationship with Christ. She wants to know the story.”
“You tell her. “
But I can’t tell it as good as you.”
“Tell her as you have come to understand it. Tell her what you learned that caused you to make the steps you have.”
She wasn’t happy. It was like “my nieces eternal destiny is hanging in the balance and you can’t come and do this.”
“You try and let me know how it goes.”
Hung up. Later afternoon she called excited because she had led her to pray for Christ’s forgiveness and come into her life.”
Friends, there is no soft way of saying this:
As a Christ-follower you need to develop and be able to share our story. “Be able to give the reason for the hope that you have.”
In my office I have a little book “How to Know Christ personally.”
When someone indicates a desire to come to Christ I just pull out 2 copies and walk through it.
One basic reason – when that new Cn later talks to his friends he knows what he can do. This booklet helped me….let me read it to you.
Friend Day – share that simple story
But we need to be able to share in 2 – 3 minutes both our story and the story of the Gospel.
And sometimes we find that hard because we don’t even share it with each other.
Exercise this week:
Page 38 of participants guide.
Put together your story. Write it down & email it to me. Like to hear it. Or share it in your small group.
* Or ministry.
Tyndale House Publishers: Holy Bible : New Living Translation. 2nd ed. Wheaton, Ill. : Tyndale House Publishers, 2004, S. 2 Co 4:1-2
Peterson, Eugene H.: The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, Colo. : NavPress, 2002, S. Ro 12:9-10
The Holy Bible: New International Version. electronic ed. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984, S. Jn 8:1-11
f Or his only begotten Son
The Holy Bible: New International Version. electronic ed. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984, S. Jn 3:16-17
a Or will expose the guilt of the world
The Holy Bible: New International Version. electronic ed. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984, S. Jn 16:8
The Holy Bible: New International Version. electronic ed. Grand Rapids : Zondervan, 1996, c1984, S. 1 Pe 3:15
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